Feelings vis-a-vis commitment

Contributed by Brian Nils S. Santos, Teacher III – Bataan National High School

More often than not, we tend to view and perceive these two entities – feelings and commitment, as bounded. To some extent, it could be because our present society is so caught up with sentimentalism that we become driven by our feelings with regard to our commitments whether it is in school, at work, in church and even in our relationships. This emotionally driven society has caused troubles in marriages and employment to name a few.

For instance, the main reason for divorce and annulment or even breakups is that people “fall out of love” and abandon the commitment when the relationship poses challenges and difficulties. Likewise, many employees opt to resign when their feelings of disappointments, complaints and expectations overrule their rationality. With that, abandonment of commitment seems to be the only way out.

If we let our feelings overrule rationality and dictate on our commitment in our responsibilities and obligations, we will always be on the losing end. Our emotions and feelings will always direct us to stay in our comfort zone to avoid conflicts, and evade struggle; bringing up more failures and regrets. Many renowned great men and women in history had their fair share of feelings of discomfort, disappointments and failures but, those did not stop them to reach their goals.

This is true with my experiences in the school year 2017-2018. Countless were the times when I

wanted to just give up and turn my back from all my school responsibilities. However, every time I felt like giving up and review the “Panunumpa ng Kawani ng Gobyerno”, I would always be dumbstruck, for after a moment of silent reflection on my reasons for entering public service, I sort of experience those lightbulb moments when suddenly things began to become clear especially on my purpose – “Ako’y kawani ng gobyerno, tungkulin ko ang maglingkod nang tapat at mahusay.”

I have to admit that I am very much “in touch” with my emotions and a simple hint of annoyance could flare up my inner Bruce Lee ready to pounce on anyone. However, as I journey through this so called life, I have picked up a few things along the way (whether you believe it or not) that helped me get over my touchy sensitive self.

My mom has always told me to count from one to ten when annoyance and infuriation strike! And if that doesn’t work, make it 100. So those of you who have anger management issues, count to one billion!

Kidding aside, my mom’s point is that we have to think before we react, breathe deep and meditate. Responding when our emotions are high would yield negative results. Delaying to gratify our feelings from exploding can save us from tears, heartaches, conflicts and wrong decisions. She has always been the voice of reason in my life. Our family has been spared from many disappointments because of how my mom makes decisions and responds to situations. And all she did was count! Mothers really know best!

Aside from my mom, the Bible has taught me that it is love that makes commitment work. The problem is that social media has erroneously led people into believing that love is a mere feeling that needed to be met by emotional and sentimental things. And when that does not happen, love will never be realized and abandonment of commitment follows.

Interestingly, the Bible defines love as an action, an act of commitment and sacrifice and this has been exemplified by Christ on the cross. Despite the shame, embarrassment, humiliation, betrayal and death on the cross, Jesus did not think waver in His commitment. He offered His life to fulfill His Father’s purpose to humanity – our salvation.

In the same manner, when things do not go our way, abandonment should not be the answer. Love should drive us in fulfilling our commitment. When love overrules our own judgment, we will be able to set aside our ego, our self-righteousness and help us accomplish our unselfish goals; the goals of the organization we belong to, or even in any relationship we are in.

To conclude, feelings and commitment do not really mix well for it can only lead to abandonment and losses. On the contrary, love through action, rationality and calmness can push us and help us press on any endeavor we are committed to.